Feeling Insecure – Love as the Greatest Security

This article describes what it is like to feel insecure and proposes three ways how to find secure ground

“Feeling Insecure” Scenario

Imagine walking with your eyes covered in an area where, apart from some steady rocks, you know that there is also quicksand, sinkholes, puddles and even mines that can explode if you step on them. What fear, to go forward like this, trying to grasp at something at every step, wanting to guess if the ground will hold or if it will make you fall. Each step forward is a victory, but also the prelude to a new moment of anguish.

Now imagine that, without knowing it – because you keep walking blindly – you went beyond that terrain to a more solid one, where there are no longer any sinkholes, no puddles, no mines. Yet you do not know it. And in your blindness, you keep moving forward with the fear that the next step can trip you up. And you do not know that, if you take off the blindfold, you would discover that you have left behind the most dangerous place. Moreover, you realise that it is actually easier to detect the dangers when you trust the experience and learn from the previous journey – which is your history.

“Feeling Insecure” Meaning

Insecurity is a land where perhaps you have seen yourself as vulnerable. Maybe, on some occasion, you felt insecure because you have made a wrong move, you have stumbled or something has torn away part of you. Someone, some time, hurt you. And at some point you started to feel that, what happened before, could happen again. You start losing trust: in yourself, in the world, in those who should give support.

Insecurity is thinking that you have no worth. Or to be afraid that others will stop being there for you. Perhaps wounded memories make you aware of the fragility of some securities. Perhaps it is that you yourself do not feel worthy of being accepted, loved, valued. And that’s why you walk in fear without realising that the truth – also your truth – is much more beautiful than you often think.

How To Feel Less Insecure , “Discovering Secure Ground”

Removing the bandage is to stop looking at the glass half empty and start looking at the glass half full – or the solid ground on which you can tread without fear. That kind of ground consists of three views:

1. From above – God’s tender way of looking at you

The first is God’s way of looking with tenderness at your fragility and with confidence at the unique abilities and talents he has given you.

2. From your inside – A good look in the mirror

The second is the view you have to find is in the mirror: to look at your deepest truth, the one that allows you to understand your history, your unique beauty, your place in the world.

3. From the outside – Acknowledging those who love you through their presence

The third is the look of those who through their presence, show you their affection, their trust, those who love you.

Ultimately love is our greatest security. The one that takes us out of the insecurity labyrinth.

Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good! (Genesis 1, 31)

Based on the original Spanish text written by: Jos Mari­a Rodriguez Olaizola sj
Translated by: Fr Jimmy Bonnici

Published: July 2019

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