Instead, let us shift our attention to the spiritual gifts that ordinary men and women, far removed from the classic image of perfection, can offer our non-ideal world.

Bring to mind, the famous Vitruvian Man, which Leonardo Da Vinci had sketched to crystallise the proportions of the perfect man. In Da Vinci’s drawing, we catch a glimpse of the universal man. Da Vinci depicted the perfect man detached from any human relationships, not affected by emotions and supposedly transcending all cultures. Along with such idealism come very specific gifts and moral obligations which supposedly apply to all men—and to all women in a complimentary way.

Whilst our image of the perfect man or woman in an ideal world fits nicely into clearly-labelled and unambiguous categories, ordinary people defy such categories. Ordinary people like you and me rarely live up to predetermined moral expectations. Yet, surprisingly, they supersede many other expectations by far. Physical or mental limitations often hinder ordinary people from being physically or spiritually perfect in the eyes of many. Nonetheless, they have the capacity to tend towards perfection in their own way.

What, therefore, are some spiritual gifts that ordinary people can give to the non-ideal world?

1  They embrace their limitations and use them to their advantage.

The unspoken expectations set by society to be perfect assumes that everything—body and mind—is working flawlessly. This is not necessarily so. I learnt this from Fred. A middle-aged man, formerly a successful aviation engineer who became severely mentally and physically disabled following a car accident. Yet, his limitations did not paralyse him. Instead, Fred would merrily dance to any familiar music and he would give a big hug to anyone to express his affection. It was a real joy to have him around.

Some disabilities are not as evident as Fred’s. Fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue and headaches, COVID long-haulers, conditions related to the “pelvic area”, hormone imbalances. The list goes on and on. They are conditions that make us far removed from the popular image of perfection. Yet, each of these conditions brings with it very specific and personal ways of living our moral obligations. It is in living these obligations with fidelity that we, as ordinary and limited human beings, can be a gift to a non-ideal world.

2  They acknowledge their dependence on God and on others.

Our individualistic culture values independence and autonomy. Yet, this is nothing but an illusion. By nature, human beings need to be embedded in a web of relationships, imperfect though they may be. We know very well that we depend on others even as we learn how to become independent adult human beings.

One way in which we live our dependence is by living in community. The current pandemic serves as a poignant reminder that Church is not a noun. It is not a sanitized place, where you have your temperature taken, and where social distancing rules are respected. Church is a verb; something at which we become better every day. We become Church when we WhatsApp each other to share our hopes and fears, when we share food together and. Church is when we see in the face of our neighbour an icon of Emmanu-El.

3  Their perceived sinfulness becomes a wellspring of life for others.

Idealising men and women and setting them as models of perfection leads to anger and frustration when we finally realise that even they are limited like us. The problem with the tragic stories of abuse in the Church was not so much the abuse itself, but the cover-ups attempting to preserve the image of the ideal man. This is what guaranteed perpetrators that they would not be accused, allowing for the abuse to be repeated. If these men were not put on a pedestal, perhaps they would have evoked a tinge of commiseration for their frailty. This could have helped them to move on.

As a counter example, take Rahab the prostitute (Joshua 2). She is praised (Heb 11:31; Jam 2:25) certainly not for her sinfulness, but for being steadfast in faith. She receives praise for the admirable spirit of hospitality that she shows towards two foreign men whose lives were in danger.

Embracing our limitations, acknowledging our dependence on God and on others, and recognising our sins by making up for them with acts of mercy might be some of the direly-needed spiritual gifts of ordinary men and women for the world today.

Read more:
– Beauty Quotes

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The most thought out idea in history

Perhaps the concept of God is the most thought-out idea in history. It is present in all people and, of course, cultures in some form. In some cases, the concept of God is objectified through idols that limit it or in ideas that freeze it. In others explicitly denied, and for many of us trying to approach it as well as we can. Our original vision comes from the Jewish people, who took many years to discover, through trial and error, what God is like, until they came to Jesus Christ. Nevertheless, it is impossible to reduce God to an idea, because his presence always disconcerts and surprises us.

Many support their lack of faith in their inability to experience God through the senses

God is transcendent. That is, we cannot know him through the senses, as we do with water, air, or the human body. This is important to say, because many people are obsessed and support their lack of faith in their inability to see Him, touch Him or feel Him. Just because we can’t see something, it doesn’t mean it ceases to exist. There are many realities present in our lives that we cannot objectify and yet we all know that they are very present. But on the other hand, He is omnipresent, He is present within each person. Every human being is a priceless treasure because, among other things, He dwells within us. He is the motive of our conscience, but also in the spirit of service and in our capacity to love.

Understanding God with reason and the heart

We Christians understand God as the Holy Trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Based on studies, experience and review of the Bible, theologians came to formulate how in God there are three persons, who interact and help us understand how God’s love is and how they are present in the world. After all, the Jewish people discovered in God a close and merciful protector who continues to this day thanks to the Father who protected them from their enemies, the Son who taught them the true and perfect face of God, and the Spirit who guided and encouraged them at all times. Three persons and one God. Community and identity. So simple and so complicated.

To understand God through reason is necessary – and there is theology – but it is not easy because you cannot enclose Him to our ideas and categories. There is one part that will always be a mystery to us, otherwise it would not be God. Perhaps the best way to understand Him is with the heart, and to assume that deep down there is someone who looks at us with mercy and loves us madly.

Based on the original Spanish text written by: Alvaro Lobo, sj
Translated by: Ms Maria Zammit

Read more:
– “I Believe – Reflections on the Catholic Creed”
– Short Quotes About God

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The ability to believe belongs solely to the human race

We believe in our parents when they help us with our problems before we have even spoken about them.  And we believe our teachers, who educate us with such dedication. We trust in the ability of the nurse who takes our blood. We believe in the judgment of the salesgirl who tells us that the item of clothing is the right size for us.

We believe that there is justice, that good is more desirable than evil, and that love is not just biology. We even build our families by believing in a simple ‘I love you’. Because believing is something that belongs to the human being, inaccessible to the rest of the creatures. If we did not believe in anything we would not progress, we would not even have a childhood.

Our faith is based upon this basic principle of belief and trust, something so fragile but also so strong. Belief and trust reveal much about us as human beings, especially as Christians.

Belief implies humility and recognising that we are on a journey of learning

Believing and trusting implies humility: Accepting that we are fragile and that we do not know everything; that there is a continuous learning process and that we are absolutely dependent on others and on an Other. None of us would have lived to last even one day of our lives if we were on our own. We are here thanks to others.

Believing in someone or something is to recognise that we live in a continuous journey of learning until the day when all this is over. It is recognising that there are affirmations which are not always based on proof, but on an option, an intuition or an act of faith. To believe also implies doubt. Since we do not have all the knowledge, we have to believe what others say but in the context of doubt.

Even if we do not like having doubts, they are usually the best sign that our faith, our belief, is healthy. If there are only absolute certainties in what we believe, we are not invited to continue searching and growing in our faith. Personally, I have a hard time with people who think that they know everything and always seem to have a clear understanding of their faith.

Believing, trusting and faith

Finally, faith involves believing and trusting, even in the midst of panic, fear and loneliness. It is like walking on strong and secure pillars which we can neither see nor control. It’s impossible to verify every piece of information that we are taught in class, to continually guess if the nurse has registered our details correctly. It is trusting that the size of the trousers I want to buy corresponds to the sharp eye of the salesgirl. Reality tells us that we can never know everything. Hence, there is an indispensable gap that each person is obliged to fill by trusting in something or someone. Some put their trust in money, others in politics, some in pleasure;  and Christians…? We try to believe and put our trust in God, knowing that it is not easy.

In this matter of faith, we cannot demonstrate with empirical facts that God exists but neither can the opposite be proven.

Catholic creed, belief

Based on the original Spanish text written by: Alvaro Lobo SJ
Translated by: Ms Maria Zammit

Read more:
– Brilliant Message by Fernando Pessoa not Pope Francis

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“Through my experience with patients and my own personal journey of faith I am appreciating the importance of spirituality in healthcare. I am discovering how much it can help in the physical, and even more so in the deeper emotional and spiritual healing of the person”, she says.

“Through my work, I observed that patients who are spiritual and have an active faith can deal better with their health problems. Studies also show that spirituality improves health outcomes.” Dr Cynthia explains.

A definition of spirituality

Dr Cynthia comes from a Catholic background, yet she has been exposed to different kinds of spirituality. Her studies in spirituality included looking at different ways in which spirituality is expressed by different cultures and individuals. Moreover, a number of persons whom she treated followed other religions, were members of other Christian denominations or had non-theistic views of spirituality.

She describes how she perceives spirituality to be the third dimension of the person: “To me spirituality is like watching a 3D movie. If you look at life in a two dimensional way – only through the physical and emotional/mental aspect – life-events may seem unclear. Once you put on the ‘glasses of spirituality’, life takes on a different meaning. So, life-events can then be seen to have a purpose.” She describes her journey thus, “As a medical doctor I studied mainly the physical aspect of the human person. Whilst practicing homeopathy I became aware of the mental and emotional aspect of the person. Eventually, I also became aware that those patients who were really interested in getting better and not just wanting to remove symptoms, were touching this third dimension – spirituality.”

Spirituality can be expressed through religion but not necessarily so. It also allows us to see our life, including our health, in a more complete, and holistic way. Consequently, illness can be seen in a different light. Hence, illness no longer stops us from living but can help us to live with more integrity, even whilst creating limitations in some way.

The spiritual way of healing

Dr Cynthia believes that when one integrates spirituality in the process of healing, the person learns to live with the disease in a healthy way. “This reminds me of St Paul who spoke of his thorn. He asked God to remove the thorn several times, but it was never removed (cf. 2 Cor 12:7-10). There are various theories about this ‘thorn’. Some scholars think that it was a physical ailment. Others suggest that it referred to a person who was antagonising him. Whatever the thorn was, because of its effect, it was actually helping St. Paul to live with integrity. Another effect was that it reminded him of his limitations.”

“Sometimes a person is going through an illness and touches rock bottom. Due to that situation the person may face the reality that some dreams can’t come true. However, in that space, the person can also come in touch with meet their own depth.

Dr Cynthia explains how, in her experience with patients, she found that spirituality goes beyond religion and touches the person very deeply. “This is where spirituality and health meet. I see this especially in cancer patients. When someone is battling with cancer, sometimes families are brought together not just in the physical presence, but also through the sharing of spiritual experiences. In the next section, Dr Cynthia relates some incidents when patients or other acquaintances had a spiritual experience which helped them cope better with their situation.

Patients’ experiences of the role of spirituality in healthcare

The mum who lost her young son to cancer

“I can remember the experience of a mother whose young child died of cancer after a long battle with his illness. When I met the mother after her son’s death,  she said, “We managed to help the child through his journey, to reach the place where he has to be.” It was an enigmatic phrase which, on its own, made no sense. But within the context of faith, this was an expression of a mother who had found a reassuring space despite such a painful experience. Although the child had passed away, the parents were at peace because they felt that what they had done had made their son’s short life meaningful.

A lady suffering from a chronic condition

“A lady who suffered from a chronic condition was desperately looking for some remedy. Her mother had also suffered from the same condition. So this lady didn’t want to go through the suffering herself. The condition persisted despite of a lot of different approaches and treatment. During one of the consultations we touched the topic of spirituality. This prompted her to start the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises.

A few years later, I met this lady again. She recounted her experience of the spiritual exercises and remarked on how it had changed her life. She also said that, although she was still suffering from the chronic condition, the peace which she had found through the spiritual journey of the exercises had relieved her of the anxiety about the illness. Consequently it did not take up so much of her time and thoughts anymore.

Universality of spirituality and sacred spaces

“A French tourist, who favoured the ideology of the Enlightenment movement and above all was not religious, was moved by the peace which she felt while visiting the Carmelite church in Mdina. Similarly, another woman, who was a non-practising Catholic, also shared how in moments of distress she still went to the church because there she found solace. In the church she felt safe to cry and express her anger and tears.”

When all hope is lost

Dr Cynthia speaks about a moving experience while visiting a patient with incurable cancer. This patient had asked for psychological and spiritual support. Since the person was too ill to communicate, all that Dr Cynthia could do was to sit by the bed and hold the patient’s hand. “The patient seemed to find comfort from this silent presence. After a while, the patient said a sentence reflecting on the way she had lived her spirituality during her life. This seemed to help her find peace.

This experience was a valuable moment for Dr Cynthia. Above all, it taught her the value of being present for the patient. Even when there seems to be nothing else one can do to alleviate the pain and suffering, being present can help the healing in other ways.

How can a health carer contribute spiritually in the patient’s life?

Dr Cynthia speaks about the work being carried out to integrate spiritual care in healthcare. Tools have been developed to help the health carers assess the spirituality of the person and to assess the health carers’ competences in this area during their training. However, Dr Cynthia also says: “I believe that for a health carer to be able to address the spiritual dimension with the patient, they have to be on a spiritual journey themselves. In my experience, patients are more likely to speak about their spiritual needs if they feel that the health carer is in touch with their own spirituality. I am on a spiritual journey. And when I meet people who are also on a journey spiritually, we connect.

If the patient is not aware of their own spirituality, the doctor can help to bring it into the picture. Sometimes this helps the patient to understand what might be underlying the illness, and to find ways to change and improve their health. However, not all patients are ready to talk about their spirituality or to connect with it. So the health carer has to be sensitive to the needs of each patient and to respect them.”

What’s special about being a health carer with a spiritual touch

“What I consider to be so precious and special about adding the spiritual dimension to healthcare is ‘the being with’ the person. As a health carer, being aware that the patient is much more than that physical or mental ailment with which they are presenting, is important. You become aware that there is more to each patient than their disease. There is context which includes their relations and environment, but also that the patient is a spiritual being.”

Embarking on a health care profession

Dr Cynthia believes that remembering the patient is a human being, is crucial for those embarking on a profession in healthcare. “With the advancement of technology in healthcare we are getting more focused on the illness and the diagnosis. Consequently, it is easy to forget that the patient is much more than that illness. The health carer has to keep in mind that patients come from a context. This context includes a family, a community, a society. Certainly, keeping in mind the person within a larger context, helps the carer to acknowledge the spiritual aspect. It makes them sensitive to deeper issues which the person might be expressing through physical ailments or enduring during the illness.

Dr Cynthia’s journey in spirituality

“My medical training, personal journey and studies in spirituality are now coming together. I am following a course entitled The Spiritual Dimension To Healthcare.  This course is helping me to bring together these two aspects of the human person. It is like having two eyes. One eye sees spirituality whilst the other eye sees the physical body/health. Consequently, through this course, I am focusing two images and gaining stereoscopic vision! When we use the vision from our two eyes we gain true depth perception. Similarly, this course is helping me to gain a deeper perception into health and healthcare. This leads to better assessment and management of each patient. Above all, it helps patients to live their life to their full potential as human beings regardless of their level of health or physical ability.

Read more on the role of spirituality in healthcare:

– Addiss David G., Spiritual Themes and Challenges in Global Health, Journal of Medical Humanities, September 2018, Vol 39(3), 337-348. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs10912-015-9378-9

– Attard, Josephine; Baldacchino, Donia; Camilleri, L. Nurses’ and midwives’ Acquisition of competency in spiritual care: A focus on education. Nurse Education Today. December 2014, Vol.34(12), 1460-1466. doi: 10.1016/j.nedt.2014.04.015

– Baldacchino, Donia. Spiritual Care: Being in Doing. Preca Library, Malta 2010. ISBN 978-99909-54-58-6

– Chase, Benna. A Model Combining Psychotherapy with Spirituality and Religion in the Area of Palliative Care and Bereavement. European Journal for Qualitative Research in Psychotherapy. August 23, 2012, 29-38. http://ejqrp.org/index.php/ejqrp/article/view/38/35

– Coyle Joanne, Spirituality and health: Towards a Framework for Exploring the Relationship Between Spirituality and Health. Journal of Advanced Nursing. March 2002, Vol 37 (6), 589-597. doi.org/10/1046/j.1365-2648.2002.02133.x

– Fischer, John. The Four Domains Model: Connecting Spirituality, Health and Well-Being. Religions. January 11, 2011, Vol 2(1), 17-28. doi.org/10.3390/rel2010017

– Kissman, Kris and Maurer, Lynn. East meets West: Therapeutic aspects of spirituality in health, mental health and addiction recovery. International Social Work. January 1, 2002 Vol 45 (1): 35-43. doi.org/10.1177/0020872802045001315

– Mc Sherry, Wilfred and Draper, Peter. The Debates emerging from the literature surrounding the concept of spirituality as applied to nursing. Journal of Advanced Nursing, January 5, 2002, Vol 27 (4) doi.org/10/1046/j.1365-2648.1998.00585.x

– Monod, Stephanie; Brennan Mark, Tochat Etienne; Martin Estelle; Rochat Stephanie and Bűla Christophe J. et al, Instruments Measuring Spirituality in Clinical Research: A Systematic Review. Journal of General Internal Medicine, July 2, 2011, Vol 26 (11):1345-57. doi: 10.1007/s11606-0110-1769-7.

– NHS Scotland (2010); Spiritual Care Matters: An Introductory Resource for all NHS Scotland Staff. https://www.nes.scot.nhs.uk/media/3723/spiritualcaremattersfinal.pdf

– Puchalski, Christina M. Spirituality and Health: The Art of Compassionate Medicine, Hospital Physician, March 2001, 30-36. http://www.hospitalphysician.com/pdf/hp_mar01_spirit.pdf

– Puchalski, Christina M. Vitillo Robert, Hull Sharon K. and Reller Nancy. Improving the Spiritual Dimension of Whole Person Care: Reaching National and International Consensus. Journal of Palliative Medicine. June 1, 2014, Vol 17 (6): 642-656. doi: 10.1089/ipm.2014.9427;

– Remen, Rachel Naomi. Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories That Heal. Riverhead Books, New York. ISBN 978 -1-59448-209-0

– Sheldrake, Philip. Spirituality and Healthcare, Practical Theology. April 21, 2015, Vol. 3(3), 367-379. doi: 10.1558/prth.v3i3.367

– Vander Weele TJ, Balaboni TA and Koh HK. Health and Spirituality. Journal of the American Medical Association. August 8, 2017 Vol 318 (6), 519-520. doi: 10.1001/Jama.2017.8136

– My Psychosis Recovery: Love, Medicine And Faith.

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Understanding Evasive Behaviour

You’re in the midst of a difficult and unpleasant task. You take out your mobile, and before you know it, you’ve spent 20 minutes on social networks.

On another time, a painful memory comes to mind, and in that moment, you turn on the TV.

One afternoon, you feel a restlessness, a restlessness in your heart, and you decide that the best remedy is a night out with your friends.

If you had a similar experience, it is likely that you have entered the labyrinth of evasion.

The Reality Which You Intended To Leave, Comes Back

It is easy to get in the labyrinth of evasion. All that you need is a situation, a memory, or a feeling which you would like to avoid. It is an attractive labyrinth. It promises fun, entertainment, and relief, elements that we all definitely want to have in our lives. But this labyrinth is illusory. Even if you wanted to stay in it, the relief soon fades away and you find yourself still trapped in the reality you had intended to leave behind.

Seeking Distraction Is Ok In The Short Term

It is important to note that seeking distractions in difficult times is the most natural human response, and can  often be something positive for our welfare. The problem arises when, not wanting to face our reality, we constantly look for an escape. If we do not devote time and energy to address the unpleasant thing or situation that we experience, it will continue to present itself ever more intensely.

Getting Out Of The Evasion Labyrinth

1. Listen To Yourself: When You Face Your Feelings, They Lose Some Power

Overcoming this labyrinth requires some insight on our part. Instead of fleeing towards this labyrinth at the first instance of discomfort, it is necessary to stop and pay attention to our thoughts, emotions, and motivations. What is it that I feel? What am I thinking? What do I want to do? By asking these questions, we manage to name our situation, and dispel the darkness in which we might find ourselves. Sadness, pain, fear, anxiety are feelings which are easy to feel, but difficult to name or accept. But when we do accept them, that is, when we come face to face with them, they lose some of their power.

2. Introspect In Prayer

For the Christian, this process of introspection, of discernment, is never done alone. It is done with a God who looks at us with love, who knows us completely, and who wants to help us to know ourselves: A God who wants to help us face any difficulty we may encounter, get out of the labyrinth, and thus live our reality with the love that he gives us.

Jesus cried out with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out.” The man who had died came out, his hands and feet bound with linen strips, and his face wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go”
(John 11: 43-44)

Based on the original Spanish text written by: Ulises Covarrubias, sj
Translated by: Fr Jimmy Bonnici

Evasive behaviour

Read more:
– Feeling Insecure – Love As The Greatest Security
– Overcoming Fear – “Do Not Be Afraid”

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Fear that life will steal what is important to you

Fear is like a labyrinth with many twists and turns. It has a lot of disordered paths where you can easily get lost. What is peculiar to this labyrinth is that it is populated by monsters; monsters that threaten what you value. You fear that those monsters will end up taking away the good things you appreciate; that they might take away aspects of life that are important to you, such as the presence of your loved ones, health, safety, or a job that you enjoy. Some of those monsters devour hope, when they prevent you from believing that you can achieve something that really matters to you.

Fear that something negative will happen

Another threatening fear is that something negative will happen: an accident, a failure, an unwanted diagnosis. The worst of those monsters, the most terrifying one, is the fear of losing the people you love; losing a loved one for various reasons – because they have to go, because they die, or because love has vanished and they abandon you. What agony it is to think that something like this will happen.

Repeated fears prevent you from seeing where you are going

When there is fear, it is like walking through an interior labyrinth, trying not to find those uncomfortable road companions that, like a dense fog, prevent you from seeing. Because when these monsters stick to you, they become your shadow and do not let you see where you are going. Then you lose the thread. You become unable to remember the direction, and instead of enjoying yourself along the way, you lose yourself, repeating again and again the same steps: fear of losing, fear that you have no worth, fear of failing, fear of being wrong, fear of abandonment, fear of suffering, fear …

Getting out of the labyrinth of fear:

1. Do not let your monsters grow

There is only one way out of the labyrinth of fear. Do not let those monsters grow so much as to prevent you from seeing the exit and paralyze you. You cannot make them disappear. We fear because we are aware that time is advancing, that many things change, not always in the direction we want, and above all because we care about those things.

2. Become aware that you fear because you love

You could say that we fear for something or someone because we love them. And this is good. It is good that we are not indifferent, that we care about what we are living. It is good that we care, especially, for people.

Fear is the sign that we are concerned about something; that we have a passion for what we are doing, and that we are aware of the fragility, the passage of time, the immeasurable value of many experiences and moments. That is not bad. But you have to prevent that fear from becoming a monster that paralyses you because is becomes the one that traps you in its labyrinth.

3. Try to accept that bad things happening are part of the journey

The trap of fear is to make us flee from things that are part of life. Of course, you will always experience failures. It is part of the journey. Of course, sometimes you will lose something for which you have worked so hard to achieve. It’s not the end of the world. And, above all, you may even loose – for whatever reason – people you love. Because we cannot chain ourselves to them. But would you rather not have loved?

“Do not be afraid”

I think this is what Jesus meant to say, when, again and again, he tried to tell his disciples what it means to live like Him: “Do not be afraid!”.

When evening came, Jesus said to his disciples, “Let’s go over to the other side of the lake.  They left the crowd behind. And they took him along in a boat, just as he was. There were also other boats with him.  A wild storm came up. Waves crashed over the boat. It was about to sink. Jesus was in the back, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him up. They said, “Teacher! Don’t you care if we drown?

 He got up and ordered the wind to stop. He said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still! Then the wind died down. And it was completely calm. He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Don’t you have any faith at all yet?
(Mk 4: 35-40)

Based on the original Spanish text written by: José María Rodríguez Olaizola, sj
Translated by: Fr Jimmy Bonnici

Published: August 2019

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“Feeling Insecure” Scenario

Imagine walking with your eyes covered in an area where, apart from some steady rocks, you know that there is also quicksand, sinkholes, puddles and even mines that can explode if you step on them. What fear, to go forward like this, trying to grasp at something at every step, wanting to guess if the ground will hold or if it will make you fall. Each step forward is a victory, but also the prelude to a new moment of anguish.

Now imagine that, without knowing it – because you keep walking blindly – you went beyond that terrain to a more solid one, where there are no longer any sinkholes, no puddles, no mines. Yet you do not know it. And in your blindness, you keep moving forward with the fear that the next step can trip you up. And you do not know that, if you take off the blindfold, you would discover that you have left behind the most dangerous place. Moreover, you realise that it is actually easier to detect the dangers when you trust the experience and learn from the previous journey – which is your history.

“Feeling Insecure” Meaning

Insecurity is a land where perhaps you have seen yourself as vulnerable. Maybe, on some occasion, you felt insecure because you have made a wrong move, you have stumbled or something has torn away part of you. Someone, some time, hurt you. And at some point you started to feel that, what happened before, could happen again. You start losing trust: in yourself, in the world, in those who should give support.

Insecurity is thinking that you have no worth. Or to be afraid that others will stop being there for you. Perhaps wounded memories make you aware of the fragility of some securities. Perhaps it is that you yourself do not feel worthy of being accepted, loved, valued. And that’s why you walk in fear without realising that the truth – also your truth – is much more beautiful than you often think.

How To Feel Less Insecure , “Discovering Secure Ground”

Removing the bandage is to stop looking at the glass half empty and start looking at the glass half full – or the solid ground on which you can tread without fear. That kind of ground consists of three views:

1. From above – God’s tender way of looking at you

The first is God’s way of looking with tenderness at your fragility and with confidence at the unique abilities and talents he has given you.

2. From your inside – A good look in the mirror

The second is the view you have to find is in the mirror: to look at your deepest truth, the one that allows you to understand your history, your unique beauty, your place in the world.

3. From the outside – Acknowledging those who love you through their presence

The third is the look of those who through their presence, show you their affection, their trust, those who love you.

Ultimately love is our greatest security. The one that takes us out of the insecurity labyrinth.

Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good! (Genesis 1, 31)

Based on the original Spanish text written by: Jos Mari­a Rodriguez Olaizola sj
Translated by: Fr Jimmy Bonnici

Published: July 2019

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“Obsessively seeking certainties can indicate that we have not taken the right path

We all seek a certain level of security and certainty. Without it life would be almost impossible. But obsessively seeking these certainties can indicate that we have not taken the right path, especially when dealing with God or others.

When we believe we have God or our neighbour completely deciphered, we enter the labyrinth of certainty. It is a labyrinth shaped by our own preconceived ideas and expectations. Absolutely everything in this labyrinth is measured according to what we have set for ourselves.

In this solitary place, rather than true images of people and God, we produce our caricatures that deny their rich reality and complexity. Perhaps it is the result of experiencing a hostile world in which the only way to survive is to have information and control over situations and people.

“Sometimes we need to leave certainty and let ourselves be surprised

Of course it is possible to know God and know our neighbour to some degree. But it is also necessary to recognise our limits with respect to our knowledge and understanding. It would be enough to remember how many times we held a mistaken idea of someone or of God himself.

That is why sometimes we have to leave behind certainty, and let ourselves be surprised by God and by others.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? (Mt 6, 25-27)

Based on the original Spanish text written by: Ulises Covarrubias, sj
Translated by: Fr Jimmy Bonnici

Published: July 2019

Read more:
– Unrealistic Expectations Of Others And Of Self
– Understanding The Meaning Of Banality

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What you expect from others – “Sometimes the timing is different”

One of the most complex paths that we have to travel in life is that of expectations. On the one hand, there is what you expect from others. You often find yourself excited, anxious. You expect others to act in a certain way: perhaps a gesture, a call, a word, a look, a like … You interpret that which has to happen. In your imagination it is a sign of affection, of appreciation. And for that reason, when it does not arrive, you feel overwhelmed thinking that for those others you are not worth it, you do not matter. You do not realise that sometimes the timing is different, or that others may not express the things in the way your imagination demands. And so, a complex spiral begins. The more disappointed your expectations, the more these multiply. And the floor on which you walk cracks even more.

What others expect from you – “Who can always get it right?”

At the other extreme, there is what you think others expect from you. That is also labyrinthine. For you, it matters to conform: to do things well, to get it right, to respond in a way you are expected to, to have the right word, never to disappoint … But who can always get it right?

What you expect from yourself – “There is a limit to how much we know”

It’s one thing to expect to give your best in what you are doing and according to the principles and values that you have come to cherish. But it’s different when you expect to please everyone or that you will always be a success. As human beings there is also a limit to how much we know. Because of that we cannot expect that we will always have a perfect decision.

The big trap of unrealistic expectations is silence

The big trap of this kind of expectation is silence, because that’s where unrealistic expectations of others and of self grows. In not talking about things, you do not tell others how you feel. Not sharing your insecurity, when you have one, or your need for affection. And then it keeps devouring you. Unspoken words, unspoken conflicts, unshared needs – for fear of being seen as too vulnerable , become an isolating wall. And it is with walls like this that the corridors of the labyrinth are built.

Leaving the labyrinth of unrealistic expectations

1. Find someone with whom you can share your fragility

Be it your spouse, a friend, a spiritual director, a professional, someone to whom you can say: “I need you , or with whom you can laugh about your limits, knowing that s/he loves you that way. And then, through that person, the friendship can become the exit door.

2. Practise gratitude

Start the day in thankfulness for what you will receive from others in a surprising way and close the day in appreciation for what you shared during the day.

“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. (Galatians 1,10)

Based on the original Spanish text written by: Jos Maria Rodriguez Olaizola, sj
Translated by: Fr Jimmy Bonnici

Published: June 2019

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– Poem About Life And Time
– “I Was Rasied On The Farm” – 11 Life Lessons From The Field

The post Unrealistic Expectations of Others and of Self appeared first on Universe of Faith.

Understanding The Meaning of Banality

To say that something is banal is to say that it is dispensable, superficial, and inconsequential. In contemporary life there are many experiences that can be described as such. Banal is the obsession with image and physical appearance.

The same can be said with respect to the contemporary tendency to express opinions about everything, without the need for such opinions to have some depth or based on reading, information, knowledge. Banal is the imperative “have fun when it becomes only criterion in decision making. “Have fun” can be helpful every now and then, but it cannot be the key for meaning in life. Banal is the inconsistency with which many people discard what they do not understand. It is the multiplication of opportunities when choice becomes an evasion rather than commitment. In some way, what is banal would be the opposite of something profound, deep.

In the banality labyrinth makeup is artificially generated

Banality often goes unnoticed. You are lost, wandering aimlessly, and you do not even know it. This labyrinth is not as painful as some others, where you are immediately made aware of being in a prison. In this case you can live in constant entertainment, consuming sensations, and even think that you’re fine, that you’re doing what you want. You walk from one place to another, you turn, you go, you return, passing again and again through the same places that change their appearance. And you do not even realise you’re locked in a prison of mirrors. Maybe because you do not know that on the other side of those walls there is a deep and much more authentic life. Sometimes, the traveller intuits that. Sometimes s/he craves something different. Sometimes s/he gets a taste of life “without makeup and free from the need to keep up appearances, and feels that life could be something else. But then, quickly, s/he chooses to return to vertigo, to deception, to emotion, even if artificially generated.

Helpful questions to ask to get out of the banality labyrinth

Stop at a point and refuse to continue wandering without direction or intention. Ask some important questions:

i. What is non-negotiable in my life? Which values am I unwilling to betray?

ii. Do I believe in something? What? In who? Why?

iii. I only have one life. What do I want to build in it? And my doubts, where do they take me?

iv. Who are the important names in my story (ie, is there true love)?

These questions can help you open the door inside and discover those closed rooms where, without knowing, there is a much deeper truth, more fertile, and full of possibilities.

“But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
(Mt 6, 33)

Based on the original Spanish text written by: Jos Maria Rodriguez Olaizola, sj
Translated by: Fr Jimmy Bonnici

Published: June 2019

Read more:
– Excellent Education & Family Quotes By Catholic Headteacher
-“I Lived With Mother Teresa” – Mother Teresa Personality Traits

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