Who is the prostituted woman? – “The traumatised, unprotected child”

“The prostituted woman is a woman just like any other woman. One finds different characteristics among prostituted women, just as one would find in other women. However, most women in prostitution would have endured extreme harsh realities of emotional and physical distress in childhood, which one would never have thought possible. It is often reported, that as a child, she would have experienced physical and sexual abuse, as well as emotional neglect by caregivers whom she would have trusted. These are very often family members, relatives, or close family friends. Such traumas can lead the woman to lock herself in isolation, and refrain from seeking help, as she would have never experienced any type of protection from adult caregivers,” Romina explains.

These childhood traumas negatively affect the woman through adolescence and adulthood: “This sad reality of trauma drives the woman to build a wall around her identity, as a means of separating herself from the rest of society. She learns to fend for herself. Such distressing experiences linger on during her adolescence and adult life. She often recalls feeling alone and isolated. She learns to hide and lock all her traumas in her own Pandora’s box. Such trauma and isolation increase her distress, which in turn transforms into numerous negative factors, such as a sense of helplessness and loss of identity. She starts identifying herself only through the experiences she would have endured, and the discourse she was conditioned with during such traumas.“ Romina describes how,”Repeatedly, the prostituted woman would have heard that she is worthless, only good for being used as a sexual object, and therefore felt unloved”

Brenda’s experience – My 25 years as a prostitute:

“As a child, it was my grandmother that took care of me. She wasn’t a bad person but she just had this drinking problem. She would bring drinking partners home from the bar and after she got intoxicated and passed out these men would do things to me. It started when I was four or five years old and it became a regular occurrence. She worked as a domestic in the suburbs. It took her two hours to get to work and two hours to get back home. So I was a latch-key kid – I wore a key around my neck and I would take myself to kindergarten and let myself back in at the end of the day. And the molesters knew about that, and they took advantage of it.

I would watch women with big glamorous hair and sparkly dresses standing on the street outside our house. I had no idea what they were up to, I just thought they were shiny. One day I asked my grandmother what the women were doing and she said, “Those women take their panties off and men give them money.” And I remember saying to myself, “I’ll probably do that” because men had already been taking my panties off.”
Brenda , My 25 years as a prostitute

Reasons why women prostitute themselves and the negative effects of  prostitution – “I cried through everything but I did it”

There are numerous reasons why a woman may end up experiencing the negative effects of prostitution. Romina explains that “the most common reasons are because of desperate financial problems, to maintain their drug addiction, debt bondage, and fear of harm from pimps and boyfriends. Such sad and harsh realities definitely remove any belief that consent is exercised freely by the woman or child in prostitution.”

“By the time I was 14, I’d had two children with boys in the community, two baby girls. My grandmother started to say that I needed to bring in some money to pay for these kids, because there was no food in the house, we had nothing. So, one evening – it was actually Good Friday – I went along in front of a hotel wearing a two-piece dress, cheap plastic shoes, and some orange lipstick which I thought might make me look older.

I was 14 years old and I cried through everything. But I did it. I didn’t like it, but the five men who dated me that night showed me what to do. They knew I was young and it was almost as if they were excited by it. I went home and I gave most of that money to my grandmother, who didn’t ask me where it came from.”
Brenda , My 25 years as a prostitute

The notion of consent in prostitution, – “Many are coerced into this lifestyle”

I asked Romina and Dr Anna Vellan to what extent is prostitution consensual? “Prostitution is often referred to as the private sexual exchange amongst consenting adults, often for money or goods, and frequently drugs. Nonetheless, this notion of adult consent has been queried by survivor advocates since in truth, many women who are involved in prostitution are coerced into this lifestyle at a young age, mostly during adolescence. They normally commence prostitution between the age of 12 – 14.”

Romina describes the first negative effects of prostitution on the woman by stating that the woman who experiences the above-mentioned childhood traumas, views herself negatively through the lens of the abuser. “She feels unworthy and suffers extremely low self-esteem. As a result, she often ends up in addictive behaviours, such as alcohol use and substance abuse. This then leads to extremely chaotic lifestyles. Too often she is involved in destructive relationships, with boyfriends, who further exploit and coerce her into a prostituted lifestyle. These so-called boyfriends are in reality pimps masked as boyfriends, who practice a sense of ownership of these women.”

Brenda’s story continues…

“The third time I went down there, a couple of guys pistol-whipped me and put me in the trunk of their car. They had approached me before because I was, as they called it, “unrepresented” on the street. All I knew was the light in the trunk of the car and then the faces of these two guys with their pistol. First they took me to a field out in the middle of nowhere and raped me. Then they took me to a hotel room and locked me in the closet.

That’s the kind of thing pimps will do to break a girl’s spirits. They kept me in there for a long time. I was begging them to let me out because I was hungry, but they would only allow me out of the closet if I agreed to work for them.

They pimped me for a while, six months or so. I wasn’t able to go home. I tried to get away but they caught me, and when they caught me they hurt me so bad. Later on, I was trafficked by other men. The physical abuse was horrible, but the real abuse was the mental abuse – the things they would say that would just stick and which you could never get over. Pimps are very good at torture. They’re very good at manipulation.”
Brenda , My 25 years as a prostitute

Is prostitution just another job? “Sex work” is a cover narrative to hide the damage from prostitution

Are we willing as a society to promote prostitution in our career fairs for secondary schools? To what extent is it just another job? Romina believes that referring to prostitution as ‘sex work’ is a cover narrative. This narrative supports the concealing of the realities of the negative effects of prostitution, such as the sexual abuse which frequently occurs. It also promotes gender inequality. “When prostitution is referred to as ‘sex work’, it is being approved that sex is work for women whilst it is leisure for men. Most damaging, however, is the fact that we are accepting that women’s bodies exist as a commodity to be used and consumed. The term ‘sex work’ is a cover narrative being used to hide the damage of prostitution. In truth, this narrative is used simply to promote prostitution, and as a means of helping the growth of the sex industry.”

Brenda’s story continues…

“Let me ask you a question. How many people would you encourage to quit their jobs to become prostitutes? Would you say to any of your close friends or female relatives, “Hey, have you thought of this? I think this would be a really great move for you!”

“And let me say this too. Whichever way (However) the situation starts off for a girl, that’s not how the situation will end up. It might look OK now, the girl in law school might say she only has high-end clients that come to her through an agency, that she doesn’t work on the streets but arranges to meet people in hotel rooms, but the first time that someone hurts her, that’s when she really sees her situation for what it is. You always get that crazy guy slipping through and he has three or four guys behind him, and they force their way into your room and gang rape you, and take your phone and all your money. And suddenly you have no means to make a living and you’re beaten up too. That is the reality of prostitution.”
Brenda , My 25 years as a prostitute

Does legalising prostitution make it safer?

Romina believes that legalising prostitution does not make it safer. She describes the negative effects of prostitution if legalised by saying that, “the legitimisation and normalisation of prostitution has a deep and negative effect on the dignity of all women. Prostitution is a harmful industry. Extensive research provides evidence that violence and rape are common practices in prostitution (Farley, 2018). Rape is perceived as the norm and is frequently considered as part of the job of the women in prostitution. Hence, it goes unreported. Even worse, if reported, it is often overlooked by the judiciary system (Farley, 2004).”

She clearly states that “the idea of legalising prostitution as a form of harm reduction is a myth. Research clearly confirms that prostituted women still suffer violence and harm (Raymond, 2004; Banyard, 2013). The concept of having regular medical check-ups for STDs or HIV, and providing the use of condoms as a means of reducing harm is a farce. According to the research, sex buyers pay more for not using contraceptives (Raymond & Hughes, 2001). Moreover,  sex buyers are never checked for STDs/HIV (Raymond, 2004).

“Legalising prostitution as a harm reduction is a myth”

Irrespective of whether prostitution is legalised, or decriminalized, Romina points out how extensive research provides clear evidence that prostitution causes significant harm, both physically and psychologically (Farley, 2004). (she adds)

“The hurt endured in prostitution are a consequence of the global rise in the sex industry, where massive amounts of money are involved. The culturalisation and normalisation of men buying women for sex, result in the misconception that predatory male behaviours are normal Thus it is claiming that prostitution is part of human nature (Scambler & Scambler, 1995). On the basis of such concepts, the ‘normality’ of these behaviors is then mirrored in laws and policies that describe prostitution as a means of employment referred  to as ‘sex work’. Prostitution is then perceived as any other unpleasant job, such as that of working in a factory (Farley, 2004).”

“After decriminalising prostitution, the sex market expands”

Romina adds that the negative effects of prostitution grow after decriminalisation. “Resarch indicates that, after decriminalisation, the sex market expands enormously, competition becomes intense, and unprotected sex becomes uncontrollable. The concept of normalisation will have further repercussions with a rise in demand and not enough supply. Men became far more aggressive, coercive and demanding in their perversity, with a spike in dangerous acts (Kraus, 2016). As one woman in prostitution in New Zealand quoted: “the state itself has told these men they have entitlement to women’s bodies (Glazer, 2016). Consequently, this has resulted in an increase in violence against women.”

“A rise in demand for pregnant women prostitutes”

Romina also speaks of a particular demand for pregnant women and the negative effects of prostitution on the unborn child. “A shocking phenomenon which has surged within the sex trade is the high demand for pregnant women. It has been reported that sex buyers desire to feel the baby in the womb. As a result, late abortions occur frequently, whilst there are others who opt to give up their baby for adoption. In order to maintain this market, women are repetitively impregnated (Kraus, 2016). Such conditions cause significant emotional harm and deep stress not just to the pregnant woman. It also affects the development of the unborn child in the womb.”

“A rise in advertising material degrading women”

Romina continues to describe the negative effects of prostitution on society. “Where prostitution is legal, it has become the norm for highway and public transport advertisements to degradingly promote women as sex objects. For men, it has become common to conduct business meetings in sex clubs (Raymond, 2004). Brothel owners are renamed as entrepreneurs. They often describe their client base asmostly being well-mannered educated professional men who visit during the day, and then return to their families in the evenings.”

“The legalisation of prostitution has negative effects on society as a whole. It promotes gender inequality where men may exploit women and consume them as sexual objects. Furthermore, it normalises this ideation, further teaching our young boys that such acts are normal and permissible since they are legal,” she says.

Does legalised prostitution increase human trafficking?

Romina says that yes prostitution does increase human trafficking. “An academic study of 150 countries identified that a higher incidence of human trafficking is reported in countries with legalised prostitution when compared with countries where prostitution is prohibited (Glazer, 2016). For instance, it was discovered that in Germany there was a sudden escalation in human trafficking reports after it liberalized the sex market in 2002 (Cho, Dreher, & Neumayer, 2013)”. “Extensive research reveals that human trafficking for sexual exploitation has increased in countries where prostitution was legalised (Raymond, 2004; Glazer, 2016).

Since legalising prostitution in Germany, in 2002, the country has become notoriously identified as one of Europe`s largest sex markets. Over the past 20 years, it has been estimated that the number of prostitutes has doubled to 400,000 (Reed, 2014). The Coalition Against Trafficking in Women argues that the sex industry has escalated in countries where prostitution was legalised. It also caused an increase in human trafficking (GAATW).

In 2014 the Council Of Europe stated that the Nordic model (Sweden, Iceland, Norway) of “prohibiting the purchase of sexual services has “a positive impact on reducing trafficking in human beings” and that “prostitution regulations should include harm-reduction measures aimed at countering the negative effects of prostitution on the people involved and supporting those who wish to leave the sex industry.”

The dignity and the soul of the prostitute

Romina describes how in this exploitative business of prostitution, it becomes hard to see the dignity of the woman. “The humanity and dignity behind the woman who is bought for sex is often failed to be recognised by the man who pays for the sex.”

She also describes how difficult it is for the prostituted woman to express her pain. “The woman in prostitution is silent for various reasons. She is hardly ever provided with the occasion to voice the truths about her life. This happens since if she did, it would affect the sex trade. Her silence is the consequence of threats, fear, shame, and dissociation. Just as the silence of women in abusive relationships should not be misunderstood, so should the silence of the prostituted woman not be misunderstood as consenting to prostitution (Farely, 2004).”

Brenda’s story continues…

“In all that time I never once saw a way out but when I was nearly 40 years old, a customer threw me out of his car. My dress got caught in the door and he dragged me six blocks along the ground, tearing all the skin off my face and the side of my body.

I went to Hospital and they immediately took me to the emergency room. Because of the condition I was in, they called in a police officer, who looked me over and said: “Oh I know her. She’s just a hooker. She probably beat some guy and took his money and got what she deserved.” And I could hear the nurse laughing along with him. They pushed me out into the waiting room as if I wasn’t worth anything. As if I didn’t deserve the services of the emergency room after all.”
Brenda , My 25 years as a prostitute

“Beyond all the outer layers of toughness projected by the woman in prostitution, the soul of a child is found stored deeply within the self of each woman. That woman becomes the little girl who still craves and yearns for love. She craves care, attention, and protection which she never received as a child. She is still waiting for that love, hoping that one day she will find it. This in order to fill a void of pain, fear, and neglect that have accompanied her throughout her life.

Brenda’s story continues…

And it was at that moment, while I was waiting for the next shift to start and for someone to attend to my injuries, that I began to think about everything that had happened in my life. Up until that point I had always had some idea of what to do, where to go, how to pick myself up again. Suddenly it was like I had run out of bright ideas. I remember looking up and saying to God, “These people don’t care about me. Could you please help me?”

God worked real fast. A doctor came and took care of me. She asked me to go and see social services in the hospital. What I knew about social services was they were anything but social. But they gave me a bus pass to go to a place called Genesis House, which was run by an awesome Englishwoman named Edwina Gateley, who became a great hero and mentor for me. She helped me turn my life around.

It was a safe house, and I had everything that I needed there. I didn’t have to worry about paying for clothes, food, or getting a job. They told me to take my time and stay as long as I needed – and I stayed almost two years. My face healed, and my soul healed too. I got Brenda back.
Brenda , My 25 years as a prostitute

“In reality, what is involved in prostitution is not sexual liberation. It is rather the extensive financial revenue made out of the exploitation of women. There is something about prostitution that is systemic. It is inherently harmful, regardless of whether the woman chose it or was coerced, whether it is decriminalised or criminalised,” Romina concludes.

10 negative effects of prostitution, “physical violence and psychological put-downs”

Romina describes how the negative effects of prostitution which are experienced through both pimps and clients are manifold:

Negative effect 1:
Changing the woman’s identity

“Pimps create rapid emotional dependency. They start by changing a girl`s name. This removes her from her identity and disconnects her from her past.”

Negative Effect 2:  
Making the woman socially invisible

“In order to separate the woman from her environment, pimps make her socially invisible.”

Negative Effect 3:
Controlling the woman through violence

“Another means of control is also achieved by violence. This intimidates the woman and instills in her the notion that she is worthless.”

Negative Effect 4:
Portraying the woman as an object who supplies income

“The woman is perceived as an object who supplies a financial income for the pimp. Women in prostitution are perceived as body parts: a commodity for sexual pleasure. Their feelings and emotions are irrelevant.”

Negative Effect 5:
Breaking the woman’s psyche and spirit

“After physical control is achieved, pimps will then use psychological power and brainwashing. Other means of ownership used by pimps are specific symbolic tattoos. All these acts are internalised by the woman. Women who experience these actions often develop an intense self-hate which may come up years after breaking away from prostitution.”

Negative Effect 6:
The woman’s suffering from mental health issues

“The provision of drugs, and a place to sleep, usually provided by the pimp/boyfriend, are considered and confused as acts of love by these vulnerable women. Thus they would do anything in return. Being caught up in such a vicious cycle results in an increasing sense of helplessness. Commonly this develops into mental health issues, domestic violence, homelessness, and social isolation.

A significant number of women in prostitution suffer post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) similar to what is commonly experienced by soldiers after war. Dissociation is another mental condition observed which is also frequently experienced by children who suffer sexual abuse (Farley, 2018). Dissociation is a consequence of both sexual abuse endured in childhood, as well as sexual violence experienced in adult prostitution. In order to survive such exploitation and harsh violence, the woman learns to dissociate her body from the mind. She tries to protect her spiritual self from the bodily scars. Subsequently, as a result of such psychological harm, these women fall victims to severe depressive disorders, anxiety, and are continuously hypervigilant.

Negative Effect 7:
Exposing the woman to further violence by her clients

“Extensive research highlights how globally, prostituted women experience domination, harassment, assault, battering, and stalking (Farley, 2018). Despite the money paid, sexual assault remains the highest and most common experience by women in prostitution (Argento, et al., 2014). Violence in prostitution emerges from the concept of commodification and objectification. Once an individual is perceived as an object, it seems almost logical that exploitation and abuse occur. On a worldwide view, statistics show how mortality rates amongst women in prostitution are high. In Canada, a study of prostituted women found that they are dying at 40 times the average national rate for their age group (MacKinnon, 2014).”

Negative Effect 8:
Making the woman prone to trafficking

“One must also acknowledge that globally, millions of women and children are trafficked for the use of sexual exploitation daily.”

Negative Effect 9:
Entrapping the woman in stigma, oppression and marginalisation

“In addition to such sad and harsh realities, these women suffer from further stigma and oppression by society in general. Most often they are marginalised. Due to their lifestyle, they are never taken seriously. They are discriminated against. They also remain burdened with a police record full of criminal offences. Moreover, they are trapped in their trauma and their shame. They are labelled for life. Even if they manage to change this lifestyle, they still remain identified as the ‘ex-whore’.

Negative Effect 10:
Reinforcing gender inequality

“Prostitution further promotes gender inequality since those who are prostituted are frequently women, whilst those who pay for sex are most exclusively men. It is rather a sexist approach as in reality by legalising prostitution, it is men who are being protected and not women. Moreover, male sex buyers can and do originally transmit disease to women.

Social assistant Romina Lopez and Dr Anna Maria Vella offer their services at “Dar Hosea” (Hosea House) a walk-in centre for women who are currently working in street prostitution in Malta. It is a place of rest and support which offers food, a shower, clothes and shelter. It also offers moral, medical and legal support to alleviate the negative effects of prostitution. The woman is neither asked any questions nor expected to change her lifestyle, even though some do. The prostituted woman is welcomed by the staff with love, care and respect. Advice and condoms are also available. “Dar Hosea” which is now in its fifth year of operation is a project of the Association Friends Of Thouret.

Unlinked References:

Banyard, K. (2013). Prostitution, Harm and Gender Inequality: Theory, Research and Policy. Gender & Development, 21(1), 199-201. doi: 10.1080/13552074.2013.767536.

Cho, S., Dreher, A., & Neumayer, E. (2013). “Does Legalized Prostitution Increase Human Trafficking? World Development, 41 (1), 67-82. doi.org/10.1016/j.worlddev.2012.05.023.

Farley, M. (2004). “Bad for the Body, Bad for the Heart : Prostitution Harms Women Even if Legalized or Decriminalized. Violence Against Women, 10(10), 1087-1125. doi: 10.1177/1077801204268607.

Farley, M. (2018). Risks of Prostitution: When the Person Is the Product. Journal Of The Association For Consumer Research, 3(1), 97-108. doi: 10.1086/695670.

Raymond, J. (2004). Ten Reasons for Not Legalizing Prostitution and a Legal Response to the Demand for Prostitution. Journal of Trauma Practice 2:3-4, 315-332, DOI: 10.1300/J189v02n03_17.

Scambler, G., & Scambler, A. (1995). Social change and health promotion among women sex workers in London. Health Promotion International, 10(1),, 17-24. doi: 10.1093/heapro/10.1.17.

Read more from Dr Anna Maria Vella:
– How To Have Enjoyable Sex From Young Age To Old Age
– The Natural Family Planning Method – What To Do When It Becomes Hard To Follow

The post “I Work With Prostitutes”-The Negative Effects of Prostitution appeared first on Universe of Faith.

“Properly defined, feminism is a philosophy that embraces basic rights for ALL human beings without exception,without regard to race, religion, sex, size, age, location, disability or parentage. Feminism rejects the use of force to dominate, control or destroy anyone. Begun by Mary Wollstonecraft in England in 1792, decrying the sexual exploitation of women in A Vindication of the Rights of Women, Wollstonecraft also condemned those who would “destroy the embryo, saying: “Nature in everything deserves respect.

Serrin M. Foster , President of the Feminists for Life of America

The post Feminist Against Abortion Quote appeared first on Universe of Faith.

Feminist issues in the Catholic Church

The Second Vatican Council stressed that we are all members of one people and that the dignity of each person is to be fostered. In involving women in the Church, and in stressing co-responsibility, this Council made some attempts to bridge the chasm between clergy and laity (men and women). And some changes have taken place. For one thing, while in Church I no longer have to cover my head with a veil, I can sit wherever I want, and I can participate in a number of ways.

And yet, the process towards a deeper appreciation of women has been a slow one. If I were to invent a hierarchical list of recipients of respect, I would have to say that the lay woman would be right at the bottom. One often observes a lack of reflection on gender and its implications, a forgetfulness of the difference that gendered embodiment brings with it, a patriarchal mode of practice that, though unwritten, is often present in spaces frequented by men. It is the way things have been done, and things have been thought, for centuries. On the contrary, I would claim that the Church is a Church of the people. Consequently, it does not make sense to invest all its resources in a male clergy. This advantage over the laity does not reflect an ecclesiology of communion, but rather one of the Church as a hierarchy. At the same time, it gives the impression that the diocesan priest is a more dependable member of the Church, whereas the laity are unreliable, if not suspect. Let us take the resources managed by the Foundation for Theological Studies, for example. Here, resources are always used to support seminarians and diocesan priests. While I would be the first to insist that seminarians and priests should receive financial support for their formation, it is unjust to have a system whereby it is only the ordained who receive such support. It is even more offensive when individuals are earmarked beforehand for salaried positions within the academia, or within the local curia.

Very rarely, women in the Church are consulted on some issue or other, because of their legal, social or educational expertise. Female psychologists and doctors tend to find special favour. But, generally, women in the Church do not play decision-making roles. Although in the past decade or two, we have seen women acquire a status never before predicted, within the Church, the cases where women’s contribution is appreciated, where women are entrusted with executive positions, are very rare, though not completely absent. The language of pastoral ministry, and of pastoral care, is often reserved to the work which the priest carries out, and does not usually incorporate the work done by the expert laity at their place of work, even when this work is inspired by a Christian vision. It is evident that ‘the various forms of discrimination and marginalisation, to which women are subjected‘ (a phrase from the Church document The Christian Faithful, Par 49.) in the world at large, is also evident in the Church. In some dioceses, the Church may even be behind the rest of society and culture where the advancement of women in the Church is concerned.

For instance, we may have had a woman involved in the implementation of the Synod. But, considering that the most influential persons within the Diocese are the Parish Priests, having women in the Church in curial committees and secretariats is not necessarily cathartic. Regrettably, even today, authoritative ecclesial positions are associated with ordination, and, because women are not ordained, they are not expected to exert any authority. It is as if high-quality efficiency, management, and administration requires the grace of ordination. On the contrary, the general view is that, since women are not ordained, they lack leadership traits. This is immensely confusing theologically.

In 2015 the Pontifical Council for Culture formed a group of 37 female consultants from around the world to advise it on matters ranging from neuroscience to sports. Italian Cardinal Gianfranco Ravasi, President of the Pontifical Council for Culture, was acting on Pope Francis’s insistence on boosting the role of women in the Vatican. This Consultation Group is meant “to ensure that women’s voices and points of view don’t fall on deaf ears, but rather are appreciated and acknowledged. It would be commendable if each bishop and each parish priest were to take the Pope’s example. So far, I do not know of any equivalent consultation group on a diocesan level.

Should women be ordained priests?

The issue of the ordination of women is a very complex one. What Christ intended cannot so easily be ascertained. Unfortunately, the only light concerning what Christ intended is only shed by the Church itself, and the Church is a political institution, often served by a patriarchal system, which makes it difficult to establish what Christ truly intended. I should say that I am not happy with the so-called ‘theological’ reasons put forward for not ordaining women. I tend to think that Jesus’ choice of men was made for cultural reasons, not for theological ones. This means that the reason so far given by those involved is not theological, but cultural. I would not go so far as to say that the Church has misrepresented Christ. If I were to conclude that the decision for women’s ordination ought to be taken on pastoral grounds, I would still have to say that most cultures are unprepared for it. For instance, if it had to be introduced, I would think that Malta is not yet ready for it. Women in the priesthood would surely suffer. I have friends who minister as priests in Anglican, Lutheran or Reformed Churches, who complain that they are often left out of the decision-making process, and that they have to remind their male colleagues that their gendered point of view is not being taken seriously.

Even where we to agree that women are not called to the apostolate of the Twelve, and to the ministerial priesthood, many Catholic women could still hold leadership positions, even without ordination. By leadership positions, I do not necessary mean the papacy or the bishopric, although these could also be possible, I mean leadership positions within the various ministries. The role of mothers and of grandmothers as ministers of the faith cannot be ignored. Other women have more specific functional and ministerial roles: as catechists, as religious educators, as secretaries of parish councils, as ministers of the Eucharist, as judges and marriage tribunal officials, as canon lawyers, as directors of Catholic charities, as scripture scholars, or even as presidents of international theological societies and associations. Women have even been made Chancellors of dioceses, a position, (viewed as the bishop’s chief executive officer) which has until recently been a role reserved exclusively for male clerics. Women are now more visible in the life of the Church than they were a few decades ago. They are especially visible in countries where the vocations to the priesthood are in crisis. Are they visible in the local diocese? Well, women still form the major part of the choirs, the cleaning teams, as well as the diakonia and the liturgy commissions! But there is still a long way to go before women are accepted as equals.

When you say “Women enjoying the same respect and participation as men do ,  do you say this so that women can become powerful like men?

Not really. By stating that women should enjoy the same respect and participation in the Church as men do, I do not mean to say that women should become like men and express the same power as men. Women and men are different, simply because embodiment itself puts them in a different relationship with the world, with others, and with events. Because of this difference, men and women need not compete against each other.

In this light, the Church need not to be understood as a place where men or women seek to dominate over each other. The Church is not a business corporation within which everyone is competing for the more powerful and advantageous position. The kind of Church and of society which we are seeking to create is not one of power, domination, and control, but one of service. However, if the Church wishes women to serve, it must give them space to express their knowledge, skill, and gifts. Should we really wish to create a communion style Church, we have to work towards inclusion, and make space for everyone to function and to perform. Otherwise, we would not be able to transcend the hierarchic model of Church, where some are serving whereas others are being served.

Having the parish priest being served by the community is not a model of communion. The Parish priest should not be making the decisions on his own, and expect the people around him to execute his decisions. Neither is the Church a communion when the Parish priest sees himself as the ‘saviour’ of the community, while the community is always expected to be on the receiving end of his service. These are only models of a mal-functioning Church, and not models of communion at all.

How may the local Church become more woman-friendly?

Church institutions, whether it is the Parish, the diocese, the Catholic School must empower women to contribute to society and to the Church. We need to understand and respect the fact that a woman’s life goes through different phases, especially if she becomes a mother. If you take a woman who has had to reduce the level of her involvement in society, in order to contribute to the well-being of her children, this does not make her impassive. Ten years from now, one could contact her again. She would have acquired immense skills through her mothering experience that could easily be transferred to a job, or to pastoral work. Furthermore, it is not just women but also the members of the Magisterium, and of the curia, who need to help to bring about this change, that is, who can make the Church, both universal and local, more woman-friendly. For instance, the local bishops have recently been praised for their criteria for the Application of Chapter 8 of Amoris Laetitia. While congratulating them for their courage, I would still ask, why the discernment of couples needs to be done with a priest? This is a setback, when there have been so many efforts to advance lay women as credible spiritual directors. For the past years, the local Jesuits have been training lay people as spiritual directors, men and women who are capable and qualified to direct others. Those who are not comfortable approaching a priest may find that opening up to a lay person makes more sense to them. And women can be very competent in this regard.

Is having a women-friendly Church just giving roles to women?

Having a women-friendly Church is not just about giving roles to women, to keep them busy, so to speak. It is also a question of worldview, an attitude, a virtue, that underlies all decisions: liturgical and pastoral, as well as moral. Despite the example of Jesus’ treatment of women, the Church still has a problem with women. The fear of women is still visible, and the stereotypes of woman as the temptress and of woman as the paragon of vice still remain. Priests are particularly vulnerable. The focus, at the seminary , is primarily on the grace of ordination, which is a grace. of course. But seminarians should also be helped to realise that the baptism is also a sacrament, and that it is baptism that initiates everyone within the Church, irrespective of gender!

Having a women-friendly Church requires that we welcome women, in their fully-embodied existence. A women-friendly Church would not be afraid of a mother’s body. If a mother needs to breastfeed in Church, she should not feel uncomfortable doing so. If a mother of young children wishes to sit with the community, and not in the ‘crying room’, she should be able to do so without being frowned upon. If a pregnant woman comes to Church, she should be made to feel as comfortable as possible. There is no shame in having a pregnant woman read in Church, or participate in any other way. If a man within the community has problems with this, it should be his problem, not the woman’s. Modesty could become a buzz-word, but it should never replace charity.

Women’s participation in the Church demands a new model of Church, where men and women work together on Parish Councils, inside Church organizations, in the preparation for events, in the training of pastoral ministers, in the implementation of projects, in the planning of liturgical celebrations, and so on. This is a Church that puts the value of communion above all else. It is both a community of prayer and a community of practice that involves everyone who wishes to be involved, and that is hospitable towards all, and receptive of all.

What’s your advice to young women who are considering giving a service in the Church?

My advice to a young woman who is seriously considering getting involved in the Church, and serving the Church, would be, first of all, to learn to appreciate her gendered embodiment, to accept who she is: her shape, the changes which puberty brings with it, her beauty, her capacity for motherhood, her immense longing to love and be loved. I would tell a young woman that being a woman is never easy, that belonging to an institution which requires working with others is never easy, and that being a member of the Catholic Church, with its emphasis on the ministerial priesthood, is even harder. I would tell this young woman that she is an important member within the Church, and that she is graced by her participation in the priesthood of Christ. As the Catechism itself states, “all [our] works, prayers, and apostolic undertakings, family and married life, daily work, relaxation of mind and body . . . even the hardships of life if patiently born can bear fruit not just for our salvation, but for the salvation of the world. There is a lot that a woman can give to the world, and to the Church. The Church allows her, in certain circumstances, to “exercise the ministry of the word, . . . preside over liturgical prayers, . . . confer Baptism, and . . . distribute Holy Communion. But, I would tell a young woman that she is more important than these roles. The Church needs her, not just her work. It needs her to be who she is. It needs her to be a woman’s body, with a woman’s instincts, energy, and love.

Read more:
– Changes in the Catholic Church – In the Context of Malta
– Top Pope Francis Quotes on Women

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1. Women are still waiting for same dignity as men

“The organization of societies worldwide is still far from reflecting clearly that women possess the same dignity and identical rights as men. We say one thing with words, but our decisions and reality tell another story. Indeed, “doubly poor are those women who endure situations of exclusion, mistreatment and violence, since they are frequently less able to defend their rights”.
Pope Francis, On Fraternity and Social Friendship, 2020, 23

2. Women bring harmony

“When we speak of women, we speak in a functional way: a woman is for doing this, for doing, no! First she is for something else: woman brings something without which the world would not be like this. She brings a richness that man and all of creation and all the animals do not have. When there is no woman, harmony is lacking. Without woman there is no harmony.

This is a society with a strong masculine attitude. It lacks a woman’s touch. It is just that man does not bring harmony: it is she who brings that harmony that teaches us to caress, to love tenderly, and who makes of the world something beautiful. This is the future; this is what was missing. Woman comes to crown creation. She brings harmony to creation. (See image below)
Pope Francis, Morning Meditation, 9th February 2017

2. Women have skills which they tend to possess more than men

“The Church acknowledges the indispensable contribution which women make to society through the sensitivity, intuition and other distinctive skill sets which they, more than men, tend to possess. I think, for example, of the special concern which women show to others, which finds a particular, even if not exclusive, expression in motherhood.” (See image below)
Pope Francis, The Joy of the Gospel, 2013, 103

3. Women are to be guaranteed freedom of choice 

“I encourage the contribution of so many women who work within the family, in the areas of teaching the faith, pastoral work, schooling, but also in social, cultural and economic structures. You women know how to embody the tender face of God, his mercy, which is translated into a willingness to give time rather than to occupy space, to welcome rather than to exclude.

It is, moreover, a matter of encouraging and fostering the effective presence of women in many areas of the public sphere, in the world of work and in places where important decisions are made, and at the same time maintaining their presence and preferential and wholly special attention in and for the family. Women must not be left to carry this weight on their own and to make decisions, but all institutions, including the ecclesial community, are called to guarantee the freedom of choice of women, so they may have the opportunity to assume social and ecclesial responsibilities, in a manner in harmony with family life.”
Pope Francis, Address, 7th February 2015

4. Women’s involvement in decision-making is valuable for the good of the world

“That women in society must be involved in decision-making is not only right for reasons of equality, but also for the specific insights that women bring to the process. This “feminine genius” will prove most valuable, as women increasingly play major roles in the solution of the serious challenges the world is facing. ”
Intervention By The Holy See at the General Assembly of the UN, 2007

5. When women pass on their gifts, society becomes positively transformed 

“When women have the opportunity to fully pass on their gifts to the entire community, the very manner by which society is understood and organized becomes positively transformed by it, managing to better reflect the substantial unity of the human family.”
Pope Francis, Address for Interreligious Dialogue, 9th June 2017

Read more:
– Brilliant Message by Fernando Passoa
– Deep Love Poem – What is Love?

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This poem lists different qualities found in women, sometimes contradictory, to describe the woman and her beauty.

I fight
I struggle
I reflect
I teach
I do
I get stressed
I feel tired
I give life
I get angry
I bring harmony
I create home
I am home
I welcome
I make space
I hope
I trust
I pray
I bring peace
I choose healthy
I walk
I fail
I sin
I keep trying
I kiss
I hug
I cuddle
I love
I suffer
I grow
I change
I am soft
I am tough
I am beautiful
I am a woman.

Anon – The person who sent us this poem wished to remain anonymous.

Read more:
– Top Pope Francis’ Quotes About Women

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