Fr Paul Galea replies…

“This is indeed a thorny question which requires an urgent theological response. My present understanding is that heterosexual (male-female) marriage is the ultimate model for friendship and intimacy as it offers the challenge of unity in diversity. That ideal cannot and should not be changed.

This however, does not exclude other forms of intimate and loving relationships that “mimic” or try to get as close as possible to this model but with obvious limitations. The equality between heterosexual and same sex marriage is a forced legal attempt to make it equal by law, but it can never make it the same. It is precisely because of the nobility of heterosexual marriage that all the rest are trying to imitate it, and if not possible to make it available to others. If it were not so nobody would bother to fight for it. Besides, if one were to abstract the values that are at the basis of marriage, and to apply them to other relationships, that is not a bad thing in itself.

The other obvious theological limitation is if we were to stick too much to the biological. This presents a chasm between Christianity on the one hand, which basis a lot on biology and “natural law”, and the contemporary culture which sees everything as a social construct, that is culturally bound.

I think we should find a common ground between these two positions without going into extremes.”

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Fr Paul Galea from the University of Malta replies on how important the family is:

There is no doubt that the ideal family exists only in the textbooks. The criticism above is partly justified by the idealisation of the family. Although people have no choice as to which family they are born, it is inconceivable not to have one, and being deprived of one can be a much worse experience. Evolution has made it that the human offspring takes longer to be weaned and to start living independently. Ironically, the higher the standard of living the longer it takes to separate.

The argument that there are many who do not speak to members of their family or who spend fortunes to undo negative emotional experiences is a confirmation of the importance and relevance of the family especially in the development of the child. That something can go wrong at any stage of development is a misfortune that can happen also to the best of families.

What is more of concern behind such argumentations is the ideology that supports them. As contemporary society becomes more individualistic there is less appreciation of family ties. As the family becomes more variegated emotional bonds with strangers become more important than blood relationships. Furthermore, what we are seeing today is an anthropological regression as fathers become less and less involved in the life and upbringing of their offspring.

The biggest challenge to our families, however, is how to reconcile other interests with those of the family. Because of career and work people put family interests on hold, including procreation which follows a different schedule. The individual pursuit of happiness is severely challenged by the heavy toll that a family can exert. Dedication to a family requires an adherence to certain values and ideals. In their absence it is more convenient to underrate the importance of the family.

Read more:
– Top Pope Francis’ Quotes About Family
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